RE: Dick picks. This lady’s got an opinion. Draw a life size, cartoon gator gator. Need condoms on the cheap? You’re in luck. Pit bull owners are not to be trusted. In fact, you should detain them! This lady is selling everything to get away from an abusive ex. Let her misery be your gain! Ladies, do you like to kiss dogs? Turns out you’re being manipulated… BY THE MAN. Hitchhiker. Rape. Fantasy. Free bushes (with free wasps nest included). American born man in Miami needs to marry for… uh… legal papers. Last, but not least, Ikea bathroom fuck story.
Paranormal club seeks, “maker culture”. Nerdy guy wants to make friends and meet at a safe place. Nerd rage discussion ensues. Are you good at cursive and signatures? This person needs you (nothing nefarious, right). Moose, the prisoner, needs a pen pal. Don’t worry, he’s change since his conviction. Fuck exchange (get ready for slogans a-plenty). Free motherfucking sand. Adderall fueled person needs your ideas to keep them busy. Crusty gecko needs a mate. Doggie momma looking for a BFF (MUST LOVE SODA). Free baby zombie hand to possible nestle your nuts on.
REVIEW US, Robo will suck you off
Some gross daddy’s girl ad. A real neat daycare missed connection. SEX UBER. Hey, you helped me put out a bar fire. Wanna hook up? Office for rent may or may not come with Ryan Gosling. Pam has some shitty landscaping skills. Yet another daddy/child kink ad (this time, m 4 m). If you have a hot neighbor, you should stalk them. Bossy, big booty lady roommate wanted. Girl vs. gaming laptop.
Casting for a reality show where the nation holds you accountable. This dude is a pro masseur/spider monkey. What’s the deal with all the gays everywhere in North Dakota? This shovel/truck ad could just be the next summer blockbuster. Adult nursing situation (prefer non-lactating and… be a LAAADY). Broney truck for sale. Total X? How about total trust… as in i let you in my house while I’m blind folded for discreet gay sex. Beach house, rent sex. Guy looking for some priest/pastor action. Air guitar for sale.
Some oxymoron shiz. Christian tshirt biz for the financial win. Relax and let this dude rub yo feet. This man knows a way to a woman’s heart… paying for her drive thru order. This dude shaved his beard to make your his bitch. Passive aggressive racism at its finest. Ode to drink girl on my lawn. Looking for “snow” in Arizona. Real sweet roommate wanted. Free stuff rant.
Some cryptic-ass post. Help us figure it out (Illuminati confirmed). A well-written tale of a UPS man, a garden gnome, some pissing, and some flatulence. For once we get a lady bitching about how much of a catch she is and how all men are missing out. What is a ballast? How is it related to brick/cement supplies? Why is there a pic of a dog? Sounds like some MILF bi-curious gals got together after cycling class. Hipster roommate available. Rent a husband (for free)! Don’t believe the public transit cheater… he has a charmed life. If you’re jerking off and driving, slow down. And speaking of, this guy wants you to watch while he does it (you can bring a female friend).
Seeking a porn “assistant”. Your normal secretary duties required (and be comfortable fucking on camera). When should you tell your baby-daddy’s family of said baby? Craigslist will provide answers. This guy needs a jogging buddy who’s married or divorced. No sex, and don’t try to suck his d on the first day. Hey gay bartenders of Phoenix: turns out part of your job is serving drinks. A Groupon-esc apartment deal in DC (hint, sex for rent). Use your craftiness to make some weird ass doll lookalikes for Instagram. I’m not racist but… TINDER EDITION. I feel like ever since I went to prison for 2 years, our relationship changed. What’s up with that? We are so going to teach this dude how to produce a PRO level online radio show (aka podcast).
Ticklish guys wanted for “research”. “Owned” woman posts with her best assets first (hint, fisting is not an issue). This single guy beat the system and wants to tell you all about it in a non depressing or ironic way. Anonymous is most likely not ruining this guy’s reputation (sadly, he’s probably losing it). Right out of Jerry Springer, this guy has a front row seat to his brother’s cheating wives (cheating with one another that is). DANCING DARTH VADER. Know a creeper? Share you story! A free, apparently piss soaked, mattress. Dick. Cheese. Wanted: punch friend in nuts… possible become the next superstar.
An old-ass TV is up for grabs. Could make for impromptu exercise equipment or self defense tool. If this lady’s nails don’t make you want to go into the body rub business, you souless. A lady is taking on stereotypes in a less than social justice manner. Impromptu pee play is a thing in Florida (where else)? Yahoo! for sale (do you get AOL as part of the package?). Where the chubby strippers at? Got some creative peanut butter and jelly combos? Make this dude eat em. Probably the trashiest ad yet (spoiler, it involves baby mamas working at Red Robin). We can’t stop talking about goats. Cuddlers wanted ad turns to human centipede analogy.